楼主
《批评论》这部著作确实难度较大,各位参与试译的译者也辛苦了。
首先,内容方面。虽然是诗,但英文诗每一句都是有完整的句子结构的,不少译者有些着急,没有把整句话的语法理清,只是一行一行译,自然就与原文要表达的差距较大咯。
其次,形式方面。《批评论》采取英雄双韵体,一是五步抑扬格,每行用字简洁,有轻重缓急的节奏感;二是差不多每两句句末押韵。诗歌翻译很难保持原诗的形式,作为译者虽然只能尽力而为,但却不能忽视这一点。
下面以试译选段为例,对几句理解容易出错的话稍作分析,希望对大家有帮助:
1.
'Tis hard to say, if greater Want of Skill
Appear in Writing or in Judging ill,
首先,want of skill中的want当“缺乏”解。句子说得更清楚的话,应为: It is hard to say if the lack of skill appear in writing ill is greater or that the lack of skill appear in judging ill is greater? 即,哪个更缺乏技巧。
2.
But, of the two, less dang'rous is th' Offence,
To tire our Patience, than mis-lead our Sense:
更清楚的话,应为:But, of the two, the offence of tiring our patience(代指写作差给人的危害) is less dangerous than the offence of misleading our sense(代指评论差给人的危害)。
3.
Now One in Verse makes many more in Prose.
此句承接上句,还是说a fool的。现在one fool in Verse (Verse, 诗的小节,代指写作) makes many fools in Prose (Prose, 文章,代指评论)。其实还是一个写得差,但是很多评得差的意思。
4.
'Tis with our Judgments as our Watches, none
Go just alike, yet each believes his own.
此句Watches就是手表的意思,可想象以前没有网络的时候,其实每只表的走针都不可能完全一样。这句话是说,我们每个人的判断就和自己的手表一样,每只表走的都不一样,但每个人都坚信自己的那只最准。
5.
Let such teach others who themselves excell,
And censure freely who have written well.
这句其实很简单,但不少译者可能想多了,反而译错了。句子说完整的话,应为: Let such people who themselves excel teach others and let such people who have written well censure freely. 即,让自身优秀的人教别人,让写得好的人自由评论。
6.
Authors are partial to their Wit, 'tis true,
But are not Criticks to their Judgment too?
此句中partial 意为偏颇。最后一句的意思是说,就像作家当然看自己的作品怎么都好,批评者下的判断不也一样吗,也都并非客观公正。与这段开头手表的比喻相呼应。